Self Sabotage 101

You are your own worst enemy


  • Destructive behavior directed towards yourself which affects your relationship with yourself and others

Self Sabotage Behaviors

  • procrastination
  • self-medicate with drugs or alcohol
  • comfort eating
  • self-injury (i.e. cutting)
  • once a relationship gets serious, you run
  • negative self talk
  • perfectionism
  • quit easily
  • fear success
  • let others monopolize your time

People aren’t always aware they are self-sabotaging themselves

Why Do We Self Sabotage?

* Lack of Self Worth and Self Esteem

You feel like you do not deserve to be successful or you feel unworthy.

* Control

Many people do not want to be blindsided by our failures. So, instead, people rather control their own failures.

* Familiarity

People like consistency. People choose consistency over happiness, most of the time. Many people wonder why someone goes back into an abusive relationship. But, that is familiar to them which is why they keep going back. People who are neglected, abused, ignores, or exploited tend to put themselves into that position again because of the familiarity.

* Boredom

Sometimes, people self sabotage because they want to push the buttons of someone else. They will pick a fight or cause drama because that gives them a rush.

* Fear of rejection or intimacy

We all know someone who sabotages their relationships once it reaches a certain level of intimacy. What does that look like?

  • Cheating
  • Picking fights
  • Pushing the other person away

Many of these patterns stem from childhood relationships with parents or caregivers.

Self Sabotage is an action that gets in the way of our intent

9 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage

  1. Understand what self-sabotage is
  2. Recognize what self sabotaging behaviors you have
  3. Identify the root cause (i.e. fear, self worth)
  4. Understand the emotions that lead to that behavior
  5. Self-reflect
  6. Replace negative thought patterns or behaviors with positive thought patterns or behaviors
  7. Developing self-supportive behaviors
  8. Set goals
  9. Develop a plan on how you will achieve that goal

Self Compassion LLC offers coaching services.

For more information visit

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